I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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