Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
