I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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