living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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