I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
