I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
