She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
