so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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