But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
