Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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