We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize