I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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