Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
