I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
