Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
