So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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