It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
