Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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