Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
