FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Randomize
