Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
