But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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