the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
4 words: hood of his car
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize