Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
