Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
