This girl is more easily done than said...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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