batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
