Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
