I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
