Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just gargled with NyQuil
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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