my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
