Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
