so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize