You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
