I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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