Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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