I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
