OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
