oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
