I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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