we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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