i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
