So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
