Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
