yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
