Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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