Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
