Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize