Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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