You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I deserve this hangover.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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