my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
