Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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