I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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