He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
