he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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