Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
