we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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