New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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