"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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