This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
