nut hugger
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
