Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
