that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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