Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
