3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
