Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the day after is always just damage control
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
