I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
last night I used snow as a chaser
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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