so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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