Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize