the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
