And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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