Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
