When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
